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When words are not enough

July 28th, 2014

Here’s another poem: When words are not enough

Celery,
Jumpsuit,
Pickled onion.

Ostrich,
Telephone,
Cable Car.

Lipstick,
Iceberg.

Salmonella,
Wardrobe,
Paste.

Twenty,
Ripcord,
Rent,
Lightning.

All of these words are not enough.
(Except that one).

Poem: Control

January 18th, 2014

I wrote this poem this evening for a friend. It draws on my experience of depression, and the helplessness you feel, blinding you to the truth that even when everything seems chaotic, you can overcome what you’re going through, even if only in the tiniest of ways.

‘Control’

I know you feel
your life is chaos
out of
control

You probably don’t realise
How much
Strain you are under
The extent of your hurt

The unease is inexplicable
The problem so intangible
The feelings inconsistent
The causes deep in the unknown

Guilt lines each sunrise, knowing
Those you love are hurting, feeling
As helpless as you feel
Pulling them closer only to push them
Away.

The days roll on,
No changes.
Still frustration breeds and spirals
Empty platitudes serving only to
Increase the guilt,
The loneliness,
The need to be understood.

Let this sound not like one of those
Everything’s gonna be fine lines of prose
The truth is far from what you feel
The hope you lack is out there, real.

As helpless as you feel
You can make a difference, you can
Take control.

Start small, get bigger, work at
Living. Don’t worry about tomorrow,
Focus on today. Do what
You can.
You can.
It feels like you can’t.
But you can.

If you’d like to read more of my poetry you can find it here.

Short Attention Span

March 18th, 2013

I wrote a poem tonight, it’s called short attention span.

Didn’t ice-cream taste creamier
when we were young?
And what’s with Instagram?

The Astronaut

September 24th, 2012

Objective
Almost Existential

Gliding
Free
Dwarfed
Speck

Still
Silence
Eternity
Space

Sometimes I Wonder

September 24th, 2012

Sometimes I wonder
If you’re as depressed by my talents as I am by yours
If you see my achievements, and wish they were your own,
If you see yourself like I see myself
Sometimes I wonder

Chosen

August 23rd, 2012

The taillights, red, stare at me
Judging me, as if they know my inmost being
Hells eyes condemn me
“You’re not good enough,” they say,
“You’re nothing, worthless.”

The group sits, cackling, mocking
“Pathetic.”

The lies cut deep, the silent words echoing,
but the truth cuts deeper

The truth is:
Not good enough, but chosen and redeemed
Worthless yet bought with a priceless ransom
Nothing, yet given everything.

The words of The One echo through
the apparent despair
“You are my Son,
with You I am well pleased.”

Moment

January 29th, 2012

I thought I’d just take a minute to share a poem I wrote back in December, when I couldn’t get to sleep.

It’s called ‘Moment’.

Let’s create for the sake or creativity, not recording it not for publicity
Not for fame not for gain, something you’d struggle to repeat the same
Art in nature freely expressing, feelings, emotions outwardly confessing
Medium not chosen but organically selected, words for words sake, not for critics’ dissecting
Meanings inherent but joyously hidden, known only in full by the wordsmith when written
but not even then, not deciding but feeling, not for perfection but just for revealing
A little of their self that can’t stay inside, that may not be seen, but can no longer hide
A groan or a cry, a laugh or a tear, a love or a hate or a soul crushing fear
Or none of these – purely a need to express, done without pressure or need to impress
Though impress it may, and may bring a reward, whatever the outcome that viewers accord

But simply a moment, put down in words,
or pictures,
or film,
or paint,
or even just a scribbled mess, not apparently meaning anything
to anyone, except me.

(December 2nd 2011)

The Simple Truths

November 9th, 2011

So I dug out my Jesus Storybook Bible (Sally Lloyd-Jones) today, and it was lying on my bed when I felt that I needed a break from editing. So at 3.45am I picked it up and started reading about The Good Shepherd.

This section includes an introduction about King David and then a paraphrase of Psalm 23 as follows:

God is my Shepherd
And I am his little lamb.
He feeds me
He guides me
He looks after me.
I have everything I need.

Inside, my heart is very quiet,
As quiet as lying still in soft green grass
In a meadow
By a little stream.

Even when I walk through
the dark, scary, lonely places
I won’t be afraid
Because my Shepherd knows where I am.

He is here with me
He keeps me safe
He rescues me

He makes me strong
And brave.

He is getting wonderful things ready for me
Especially for me
Everything I ever dreamed of!

He fills my heart so full of happiness
I can’t hold it all inside.

Wherever I go I know
God’s Never Stopping
Never Giving Up
Unbreaking
Always and Forever
Love
Will go, too!

Now obviously this is coming from a children’s Bible so a lot of the imagery of the original Psalm is lost, but the simplicity here brings across the simple truths behind the grandeur of this famous poem.

So often we all too easily forget the lessons we learned in Sunday School, seeing them as too simplistic for our now all-too-stressful life. We don’t have time anymore to hear the wonderful things that God has done, and when we do we focus so much on trying to find deeper meanings, reassurance, encouragement or guidance that we often miss the plain truths.

We need to get back to being lost in wonder, as a child, when we hear things like:

He is here with me
He keeps me safe
He rescues me

Just because an idea is simple doesn’t make it any less true, or any less relevant to our lives. Don’t be too proud to relive Sunday School. And if you can’t bring yourself to doing it, looks like it’s time to start a family.

Any excuse to read a story before bed.

 

 

Poem 3: Go To Bed

August 15th, 2011

Go To Bed

This is why I don’t go to bed

Because bed is for sleeping and I can’t sleep
Because YouTube has too many videos
Because it’s too hot and stuffy
Because I just have to win one more game

This is why I don’t go to bed

Because my favourite programme’s on tv
Because there’s still half a film left
Because going to bed means saying goodnight

Because someone else might still be on Facebook
Because the Internet never sleeps
Because I’m writing a poem

This is why I don’t go to bed

Because there aren’t enough hours in the day
Because I’m more productive at night
Because the essay’s due tomorrow

This is why I don’t go to bed

Because all of my junk is on it
Because my ear plugs are uncomfortable
Because someone decided to use the tumble drier
Because the mattress is so hard

Because I’m clubbing and eating a kebab
Because I’m always tired anyway
Because I don’t feel like it
Because I’m a student
Because going to bed is admitting defeat

This is why I don’t go to bed

Because I’m already in bed

Poem 2: T-Junction

March 16th, 2011

This poem is loosely based around a joke by Jimmy Carr 😛 amongst other things

T-Junction


When you feel like you’ve reached
a T-Junction in your life.
Two paths lie ahead of you, and
choice between them seems unavoidable.
Uncertainty and confusion reign in
your head about which path to take.
The paths may lead to joy, success,
family, happiness, security.
They may lead to monotony, boredom,
misery, failure, loneliness.
What they lead to is unknown,
and the pain of having to choose
looms like a distant grey cloud
on a sunny day.

Growing closer.

And closer.
And you are left wondering what
will come when the cloud reaches
you. Will it drown out the sun?
Will it burst and flood you with
rain? Will lightning strike and
burn what is all around you,
scorching friends, hopes, dreams
to nothing?

But the choice is still there.
Maybe the cloud is avoidable.
Maybe not.
But there is no way of knowing.
Until you choose.
This crushing indecision, knowing that
the unknown lies both left and right,
but not knowing which unknown to embrace.
An indecision made worse by the
invisible rope, holding you back from
taking either path. Leaving you uncaring
whether you take the choice or not.

Let the cloud come. Does it matter?
Either path may lead to misery;
Why choose at all?

And yet, suddenly, a distant beacon.
Just a glimpse of glorious light before
it’s gone. A split second of revelation:

That the decision in front of you is
not a T-Junction,

but a cross road.

And there is no choice that has to be made at all.

There is nothing wrong with
your current path. Maybe you
will choose to turn left. Or right.
Maybe you will slow to a walking
pace, or maybe you will run. Maybe
you will be carried, pushed or pulled.
But the path is yours. There is no
pressure.

The cloud may remain, the hard
times may still come and feel
like there is
no way out.
But you will not miraculously be taken out
of these troubles, but
brought through them.

The choice is before you,
but maybe indecision is the best decision right now.